Numbers

Ok, so the future is always in motion after all. Instead of getting my coffee, I decided to write one more blog. I like to stop at nice, wholesome numbers. I mean, I couldn’t just stop at 9 blogs, I felt the need to go on to 10 before I took a break. I’ve always had a keen appreciation of numbers. I mean numbers in the practical sense. Formulas and arithmetic never really titillated me, but I’ve always liked numbers. When I adjust the volume on my TV or my mp3 player, it’s always 10, 15, or 20, or on a particularly sinister day, 13. But never 14, or 19, or anything absurd like that. I also like how numbers and letters coordinate. For instance, my band’s name, Mortals No More. After deciding on that name, I did a few calculations. M is the 13th letter of the alphabet, N is the 14th. They’re right smack dab in the middle. But what’s really cool is when you do a little math. 13+14+13=40. 40 days and nights, 40 days in the wilderness, 40 years in the desert. No coincidence we’re Christian metal, eh? Or like this mathematical proof which affirms that Barney is a satanic figure:

Our two givens:
Barney = Cute Purple Dinosaur
Barney = Evil

Now, let us analyze the linguistics:
U=V in Latin
Change all the U’s to V’s in the phrase “cute purple dinosaur”

Now we have:
Cvte Pvrple Dinosavr

Extricate all the Roman numerals:
C+V+V+L+D+I+V

Convert these to Arabic numerals
100+5+5+50+500+1+5

Then, upon finding the sum of these numerals, you will see the horrible truth:
Cute Purple Dinosaur = 666
Therefore, Barney = 666
Therefore, Barney = Evil

Needless to say, my appreciation for numbers is directly correlated with my appreciation for Pythagoras. I might not like math, but I have supreme respect and interest in his numerical approach to contemplation, purification of the soul, and philosophy in general.